


Buzzbomb

by leooX



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drug-Induced Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I will prolly add more, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Drug Use, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, Sad, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-02 04:35:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8651380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leooX/pseuds/leooX
Summary: Josh is an addict. Tyler is a dealer.





	1. The head on the door

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY.  
> So the original plan was to make a super big one shot and have it all over and done with. But I've worked on this for like a day and I'm too impatient so here's chapter one. I'll probably add two more to make it a three chapter story.  
> This is the only thing I actually like of mine so far and drug fics are hard to come by so I made my own. (Even though I never read my own idk)  
> Also I'm naming the chapter after lyrics in what ever song I'm listening to and rn it's 'close to me' by the cure. 
> 
> Please leave feedback!! Let me know your opunions and stuff pleasseee
> 
> (The fic is named after the dead kennedys song buzz bomb. Don't know why. Thought it was a good idea)
> 
> I WON'T be putting detailed rape scenes in this fic.

"Hey- hey, wake up. Rob- get up-"  
Josh was shaking the other man frantically, the limp body flopping on the couch for a minute before his eyes opened slowly and he frowned.  
"What? Josh- what the fuck are you doing here? Times'it?" He snapped, pushing Josh's hands off his torso and twisting on he leather.

"10- I need- I need something, you have anything? Please, just... ugh." He scrubbed his hands over his face and then wiped his running nose.  
"You're a mess, Josh. Go away, man. Get outta here." The other man mumbled, rubbing his face in a cushion and letting his eyes close.  
"You got me like this." Josh whispered accusingly, leg shaking erratically. 

"Josh- seriously, get out. I don't have anything, man."  
"Fuck- don't lie," Josh whined desperately, scratching over his face and eyes.  
Rob growled, agitated, and kicked Josh in the shin. "There's a fuckin'… fuckin' number in my phone. Get it n' Leave." He slurred, eyes drooping shut.  
"Who's it for?" Josh asked, but the other was already asleep, so he turned and picked the cracked phone up off the glass coffee table and unlocked it with shaking hands, and looked through the contacts anxiously, coming across one that said 'TJ.' He'd heard that name before- whenever Robert was talking about where he got his drugs, how he always got a really good deal, man.

He called the number, body thrumming and twitching as he pressed it to his ear and waited for a pick up.

"What- the fuck, it's like, nine in the morning?"  
The voice on the other side was high pitched and groggy, not threatening, but Josh still chewed his lips nervously.  
"Ten. Is this, the- the drug guy?"  
"Drug guy?" The person sniggered and Josh's breathing hitched.  
"Y-yeah…"  
"Who is this, and what do you want?" He sounded serious now.  
"Im- my names Josh, but I'm calling from Robs phone?" 'TJ' hummed and Josh continued. "I need- Um. Anything- please, now. As soon as you can." He corrected himself.  
"Hm. Okay. I can see you in like an hour-" Josh went to protest but was interrupted quickly. "You give me my time or you get nothing, alright, Josh?"  
"Okay." Josh whimpered.

-

Becoming a drug dealer was never really part of Tylers life plans.  
He'd been with his friend, Mark, who brought up that he'd been selling some weed for the guy he got it off. He'd said it wasn't like you'd imagine, because he was like the middle-middle man, just selling for a guy who was selling. For a guy. So there wouldn't really be any way for him to come in contact with the main man.  
Tyler, not interested in taking drugs, had finished college and was at a loss besides from his part time work in a restaurant, presented his interest in selling a little something.  
Eventually, 'a little something' escalated, and he was dealing almost everything you could imagine.

So when he got a call from 'Josh', it meant nothing to him. It was nothing out of the ordinary. And when he saw him, he smirked and then frowned because it was bad that this was normal to him.  
Josh had a typical sunken face, his clothes hung off his body but not to the point you'd notice something was terribly wrong. His eyes were dark rimmed and pupils were small and flickering sporadically.

Josh was jittering as he stopped in front of Tyler, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his jumper with sad eyes.  
"You're Josh?" He nodded and pulled his sleeves over his hands. "Okay- what is it you want? Wait. Don't tell me. Pluto, right? Or crack?"  
Josh felt he was being mocked, so he looked at the ground. "H." He whispered, and Tyler began to pull something from his pocket, teasing him. Josh looked around, paranoia, before reaching for the small bag. Tyler pulled it away.  
"Money first. Thirty dollars."  
"Thirty? Isn't it usually-"  
"Yes. I put the price up just for you." Tyler smirked and raised an eyebrow at Josh, who wrung his hands before he sighed and handed Tyler the money he'd asked for, hands grappling desperately for the baggie.  
Tyler heard a meek 'thanks.' Before Josh walked away briskly, hands shoved in his pockets.

 

Tyler huffed out a breath and folded the crumpled notes before putting them in his pocket, and taking out his phone. He saved Josh's number.

-

Josh grunted and chewed his dry lips as he fell down onto his hard matress, springs breaking through the surface fabric and stains of blood and cum and god knows what else littering it.  
He did have his own place to live. He just didn't pay for it. His parents payed his rent every month, because no matter how much he screamed and yelled and spat back at them, they couldn't see him homeless, becoming worse than he already was.  
And he knew he was bad, but he didn't have the means to change anything. 

His throat clicked as he swallowed dryly, pulling out the miniscule zip lock bag of white powder and unsealed it.  
He searched blindly for the bent spoon he always kept in his bed, eyes focused on the powder, and then poured half of it onto the burnt spoon.  
Then, he was holding it up with the lighter beneath it, watching impatiently as it bubbled and became a liquid that he sucked up into the needle and flicked the tip.  
He removed the shoe lace from his left shoe and tied it around his forearm, that he twisted in attempts to find a vein.  
He placed the sharp end of the needle to the vein and pressed in smoothly, pushing down and letting the liquid shoot into his body gradually.

Shaking the needle, he pulled it back out and tossed it to the side, letting himself flop back against a pillow and look up at the yellow stained ceiling, eyes rolling in his skull.

-

Tyler lay on his front, a pizza box open beside him and his laptop in front of him.  
He was going through his accounts of what he'd sold, how much, to who, and who was in debt- or what they'd offered rather than money.

Often, he found that desperate people would offer sex for drugs. He always turned them away personally, but couldn't deny them totally, and would give a call to Mark who knew the guy who supplied them. Sometimes he knew people who would fuck the druggies, or even do so himself.

Tyler found it disgusting that someone would get themselves into such states.  
STD's, collapsed veins, respiratory problems and failure, open wounds and, what Tyler found the most harrowing, they destroyed how they looked physically. Their teeth would rot, and their skin would break out in red and purple rashes. They just looked terrible.  
He always stopped himself from thinking too much about it. He was getting a decent amount of extra money, because this wasn't his fucking job (he just did it on the side).

His phone buzzing pulled him from his thoughts, but he sighed and declined the call. It wasn't ten seconds before the person was calling again and he accepted the call, putting it on loud speaker.  
"Who is it?" He snapped, not bothering to look at the caller I.D.  
"It's me- Josh? We met a couple days ago?" His words were spaced out and slowed and Tyler rolled his eyes.  
"Right." He sighed, "so, what is it?"  
"I-I need something. I've got nothing- I've only had some pills and-"  
"Woah- I only saw you… two days ago? What do you mean you've got nothing?" Tyler teased him, knowing how pliable and vunerable addicts were, but he also loved irritating them, because ultimately, they were helpless.  
"I- there wasn't much…" Josh mumbled. "Please- can I see you?"  
"I don't really have anything right now." Tyler hummed.  
"Fuck. Really?"  
"No. I'm lying. I can't be bothered to give you anything."  
"No- please. Please. I'll pay extra- I'll come to you?"  
"Hah! You think I'd let a druggie know where I live?" Tyler scoffed. Of course he had stuff avaliable, and was able to work, but he loved the despair in Josh's voice.  
"Please! I'll… I'll give you a blow job?"  
"Eugh. Gross. You're disgusting. I'd probably catch something. No. I'll come to you, right? I need to know where you live for when you pay too little and I need to beat the money out of you."  
He heard Josh's shuddering breath. Anxiety or lung failure because of the drugs? He was unsure.  
"Yeah. Okay."

-

Tyler pulled up outside of an apartment complex in his black car. It wasn't his- he only used it when he was dealing so no one recognised his personal car when he was out.  
The building wasn't what he expected. It was half decent- only one or two windows smashed in, and the corridors were swept and smelt like bleach when Josh let him into the building and he navigated his way to the second floor.  
He stood outside of Josh's door for a moment, clicking his fingers and hearing shuffling inside. The door was flung open before he even knocked, and Josh stood in front of him in a black hoodie and shorts, a juxtaposition. His legs were dotted with scabs.

"Do you wanna come in?" This time, Josh's voice was rushed and he stepped back, inviting Tyler in.  
Tyler raised an eyebrow but stepped forward, looking around the room he was now in. It was suprisingly relatively tidied (he still felt grimy) but smelt vaguely like a mixture of vomit, sweat and musk.  
He allowed himself to walk through the flat, despite Josh's noise of disagreement and scared face.  
It turned out that he must've just picked up around the front room, because the kitchen was dirty, uncleaned pots and tin foil littering the surfaces. He scrunched up his face and peeked into the bathroom. It was obvious that no one had actually used the bath in a while. It was filled with clothes and old water.  
"I-I usually stay at Robs house- he's… we're together." Josh stammered, clasping his hands together. Tyler grunted testily, eyeing Josh and leaning against a dirtied door frame.  
"This place is gross, Josh."  
Josh averted his gaze to the floor and nodded his agreement, face red and littered with scars and spots and sweat.  
"You are too. You really need a bath." Tyler continued, watching as Josh shrunk impossibly further into himself. "Well?"  
"I-I know I do- I'll take one soon, I promise." He whispered, looking at Tyler hopelessly.  
Tyler sniffed. "Okay. How much money you got?"  
Josh pulled some notes and change from the pocket of his sweater, sifting through them as he counted. 

"I've got... shit. Twenty one dollars?"  
Tyler hissed through his teeth and folded his arms over his chest.  
"You won't be getting what I know you want with that." He said, feigning sympathy.  
Josh scrubbed his face and groaned into his hands. "What can I get?"  
"Pff… I mean. I've got some pot, but I don't think that'll do you, man."  
Josh looked close to tears and Tyler smirked to himself.  
"Can I give you something else?" He pleaded, holding his hands together in front of him.  
"God- no." Tyler shivered. "Hold on. I'll call someone." He then mumbled, keeping eye contact with Josh as he rang Mark.  
"Oh- hey, Mark. I need you to ask If this guy can pay in... other ways."  
Pause.  
"Yeah I know. Gross." He scoffed, sniggering. "Yeah. His names Josh. Okay. Call me back when you hear from him then."  
He cleared his throat, pocketing his phone.  
"He's gonna ask, but I can't promise anything." Tyler said, looking Josh up and down.  
"I need'ta sit down." Josh muttered, stumbling back to the front room and laying on the scuffed couch, pressing his forehead into the arm of it.

"What's up with you?"  
"Hot." Josh grumbled, twisting over onto his back and gaping up at the ceiling.  
"You sure you don't have another dealer and have already taken shit?"  
"No… usually get stuff off Rob but. He's upset." Josh croaked and jolted when Tylers phone rang.

"What'd he say?"  
Josh watched him nervously from the couch.  
Tyler hung up and cleared his throat. "They said yeah. There's a few people who want to... see you. Youre not allowed anything until you've been." He said awkwardly, feeling uneasy at the look Josh's face took on.  
"W-what? No!" Josh panicked, sitting up with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"  
Tyler was taken aback, and he looked at Josh with furrowed brows. "They said you could pay with sex... but you only get the drugs after?" Josh was rubbing his face with his hands continously and his body was practically vibrating. "You've done that before right?"  
"I-I've blown one guy. Once. But... he let me shoot up first. Fuck. No. I can't do it. You have to tell them I need to use first," Josh rambled tearfully.  
Tyler shrugged. "I can't. That's what they said. If it bothers you so much, why don't you just… not use the drugs?"  
"I need them! Fuck!"  
"Hey, if you're gonna be like that then I'll leave, man." Tyler warned.  
"No- no, I'm sorry… Please stay. I'll take the, uh, you said you had weed?"  
Tyler was feeling apprehensive now, with the distress on Josh's face.  
The thing about him being a dealer, was that he was far too emotional. He got kicks out of tormenting people, but when they showed real emotion it got to him. He'd never dealed for someone who was as far in as Josh.  
He'd sold crack and heroin, weed and ecstasy, and other narcotics and opiates, but the people who bought them were usually friends of friends who were having a party and wanted to get fucked up for the night.

"Hello? TJ?"  
It was Josh's needy, shaking voice that forced him into reality.  
"TJ? My names Tyler." He huffed, standing on one foot with the other and balancing on it.  
"Tyler? Okay. Here- give me anything." Josh had shoved the little money he had into Tylers hands and was waiting expectantly with his palm held out.  
"Right. Okay." Tyler mumbled, pocketing the money and digging into his inside pocket for a medium sized zippy, that held enough for maybe two or three joints.  
Josh looked disheartened but took it gratefully, about to turn away but then realising that Tyler was still stood, he held his weed tightly in his fist and looked at Tyler.  
"Do I need to do something else?" He asked slowly.  
"Huh? No. I'm going. Bye." Tyler rushed, making his way to the front door and closing it behind him once he'd left the room, but he could only breathe when he was outside of the apartment block and in the open air.

-

The next day, Josh was at it again.  
"Hey- Rob? It's Josh."  
There was a scoff on the other side of the the phone, and Josh felt like he was suffocating.  
"Course it's you. What do you want?"  
"I… just wanted to talk. I miss you." He whimpered.  
"Don't fuck around Josh. You want shit, don't you? Well you're not getting anything." Rob snapped, and Josh's eyes brimmed with saline.  
"No- Rob, please. I just need one shot. I'll let you fuck me again?"  
"Let me fuck you? Last time you said that, you screamed rape and sobbed."  
"No I didn't..." he whispered shakily. "I jus' cried a little. The time before that I didn't, did I?"  
"Yeah. It was gross. You're gross, Josh, you know that? Bet you've not even cleaned yourself, huh? When was the last time you actually showered?"  
Josh began to cry quietly down the speaker, sniffing loudly and wiping away the snot with the back of his hand.  
"I'll take a bath, then come over? Please, fuck. I'm begging you here Rob."

He heard chattering in the background and his stomach twisted horribly.  
"Is- is there other people?"  
"Yeah. Tell you what- I'll get them all to chip in, if they can have something from you after, huh?" Robs voice was soothing and persuasive this time and Josh nodded, albeit being alone in his flat.  
"Yeah. Yeah. O-okay. I'll be there soon, okay?"  
Rob hung up, and Josh scurried to the bathroom, heaving the heavy, dirty clothes (lmao) out of the grimy tub and flinging them into the sink, before stripping and stepping in the base, turning on the shower and shivering as the water electrocuted his body.

-

Josh knocked on the vast, ebony door and took a step back, scrunching his face up as he repressed the urge to sneeze.  
The door was opened to reveal a burly man in a black suit, looking down at him and taking him in.  
"Hey- is this that Josh guy?" He called, and Rob peeked his head out from a door.  
"Yeah. Did you shower?"  
Josh nodded his reply and swallowed dryly.  
"He's not as bad as what I've seen before" the guy blocking the door said flippantly. "He still has teeth. He's alright." He mumbled as he turned away, and Josh stepped into the house, weakly shutting the door behind him and swallowing the urge to vomit as he saw the room buzzing with people.

Pulling Rob aside, Josh scratched at his mouth. "All these people? Rob- i don't think-"  
"No. Not all of them. Most of them are going when my guy gets here, Josh."  
"Oh. Kay." Josh pressed himself into the wall and stared at the ground.  
People began to leave the room after a few minutes of standing uncomfortably. 

"Ah! Tyler, come on in man."  
There was the shuffling of shoes and Josh looked up briefly from his position on the carpet after he'd let himself slide down the wall.

"What is it you need?"  
"Hm. Depends. Josh?"  
Josh snapped his head up again and ignored Tylers staring, raising his eyebrows in question.  
"How many people are you going to let have you, baby?"  
He shuddered and looked away.  
"Anyone, please- I just need-"  
"Right. Shut it. God, he's so whiny. You've met him right?"  
"Yeah… are you like. His pimp or something?"  
Rob scoffed. "No. We were together, until he became a fucking crack whore."  
Josh's heart shrunk and his head hung.  
"M' not a crack whore…" he said quietly.  
"You are. Well, you were. Now he just gets what he can. So. Just give us a couple of shots worth, Please."  
Tyler droned and slipped his backpack from his shoulders, crouching on the floor and shifting through it.  
"Just two shots for all these guys?" He asked nonchalantly, sparing a glance at Josh.  
"He'll do anything for a hit." Rob laughed.  
"Right. So… You're letting all these guys fuck him?"  
Rob shrugged. "S'what he wants."

Josh closed his eyes and put his forehead against his wobbling knees, wrapping his arms around his legs and scratching at them.  
"Fuck." He whimpered.  
"Josh panicked when my man said he'd get fucked for drugs." Tyler said, stalling the upcoming events.  
"Yeah. He's… weird about it. I think he got raped." He said in a tone that was supposed to sound hushed, but made it so everyone in the room could hear clearly. 

"You- you can't say that." Josh said brusquely, forcing himself to stand again.  
"Why not?"  
"You- fuck. I'm-" Josh hit his temple with his fist and stumbled from the room, heading to the front door and prying it open.

Tyler followed him out of the house and looked at the mess on the floor. Josh's back was heaving and he panted, hands slipping in his own bile.  
"Wow. Gross."  
"Josh- fuck! Fucking idiot. God, no one's gonna want you now." Rob seethed. "Sorry Tyler, we won't need anything now."  
Rob shut the door and a wrecked sob was pulled from Josh, who decided he'd just let himself fall into his puddle of mess.  
"Josh- get up man, that's disgus-"  
"I know! I know I'm gross! Stop!" Josh screamed haggardly, hiding his face in his arm.  
Tyler stood awkwardly, tugging at the straps of his backpack and rocking on the heels of his feet.

"Do you want me to take you somewhere? A doctor?" Josh shook his head. "How about I take you back to your flat?"

"Okay."

-

Tyler seated himself on the couch as Josh slumped on the floor, shivering and twitching. His breathing was shallow.  
He considered what to do. Did he give Josh the heroin his body needed? But he wouldnt be able to pay. And he wasn't up for sex. And Tyler couldnt give shit away. And he didn't really want to give Josh drugs anymore.

"What are you going to do?" He asked.  
"W-what do you mean?" Josh's voice shook and he looked over at Tyler.  
"For drugs? I mean… you've got nothing."  
"I-I could steal them off you, you know? But I'd be dead before I could, wouldn't I?" Tyler hummed. "C-could you give me something?"  
"Hell no. Have you seen the state of yourself? You think I'm gonna help you?"  
"You sold me drugs before." Josh pointed out.  
"Yeah, well I've never seen someone as bad as you Josh. You really need to stop."  
"I can't s-stop." Josh cried. He looked positively hopeless.


	2. Never again is what you swore the time before.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh nearly dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning because there's like sex in this chapter but I guess it's rape of some sort because its done for drugs? Idk  
> Leave comments and stuff because I wouldn't upload otherwise!!  
> (I'm an attention whore and only feel valid based on what other pepole think of me)
> 
> Chapter title is a lyric from policy of truth by depeche mode (I really suggest listening to the songs that the chapters are named after while reading them)

Josh ended up off his head on cocaine and another dangerous mixture the next day.  
Rob had showed up at his house early and screamed at him, hit him, and then apologised and gave him two lines. Josh loved him.

After he gave Rob hand job, he left and then Josh did too, an hour later, feeling confident and overwhelmingly happy. He wandered down the street with a small grin on his face, not faltering when he'd bump into someone and they'd push or yell at him.  
He felt sexy. He felt on top of the world. He felt-  
"Oh! Josh."  
Another person was walking past and grabbing onto his arm.  
He focused his eyes and turned his head to him, seeing that it was Tyler, with a worried look on his face.  
"Oh. Tyler." He said back in a monotone voice, slowly pulling his arm from Tylers grip. "Hi."

"What are you on?" Tyler asked, watching the way his pupils were dilated near to the size of his irises.  
Josh smiled toothily and inched closer to Tyler. "Took some snow… Rob gave me 'em. He loves me." He sighed, head twitching to the side.   
"I'm sure he does…"  
"What? You think he doesn't? Why wouldn't he? Did he say something to you?" Josh snapped suddenly. Cocaine for sure.  
"No, Josh. I'm not doubting you. Where are you headed?"  
"I dunno. I'm just exploring." he was happy again and running a hand up Tylers arm. "What about you?" He purred.  
"Ew. Stop that." Tyler muttered, and Josh dropped his hand. "I'm going to see… my friend. Give him some stuff back."  
"Drugs? Why you giving him them?"  
"I'm not dealing anymore." Tyler sighed, shifting his feet and looking down the street. "I need to go Josh. You want me to give you a call?"  
Josh pulled a face and then rubbed his mouth. "Sure. Why you not selling no more?"  
"I just… can't do it anymore."

-

Tyler had no choice but to force Josh into his car the next time he saw him.  
(Twenty minutes later.)   
He was nearly unconcious, sat on a step outside of a rundown shop and nodding off, jerking awake, and then nodding off again.  
Tyler groaned. If police saw him he'd be locked up for sure and that could have implications for Tyler.  
He kicked Josh's foot with his own, "Hey. Josh. You need to move."   
Josh's eyes flickered open briefly and he shook his head.  
Reluctantly, Tyler shoved his hands under Josh's armpits and hoisted him up. He was clearly underweight, which shouldn't have been suprising but he couldn't help the way his gut twisted, and forced him to use his legs to make their way down the street where he'd parked his car.  
"Get in- fuck- Josh, get in the car."  
Josh's body swayed and he grasped Tylers shoulders, almost dragging him down.   
Tyler grunted, and pushed him through the door before closing it, getting into the front and starting the engine, looking cautiously in the mirror to where Josh was scrunched up in the back.  
"Josh?"  
Josh made a small noise and breathed out through his noise, so Tyler began the journey to his own home at a steady pace, cautious of the body in the back seats.

A few minutes later, he pulled up outside of his own home and sat for a moment, contemplating if it was a good idea to let a druggie into his own home.  
It certainly wasn't, but he still climbed into the back seat and forced Josh into a sitting position and pushed the door open. He clambered over Josh's lap and stepped onto the sidewalk, slapping Josh across the face to gain his attention.  
"Josh, you need to get out. Can you stand? Are you even fucking awake?"  
"Yeh m'wake." Josh mumbled, opening his eyes and then hauling himself out of the car and leaning against it, head in his hands.  
Tyler slammed the door and locked the car up, slapping Josh's back in a supportive way.   
"Come on Josh, you can walk," Tyler said, sliding a hand up to Josh's neck and giving a small squeeze before dropping it, watching Josh cower away briefly before he ran a hand over his nose and pushed himself up from his position and began following Tyler mindlessly.   
Tyler couldnt help but think that Josh probably thought he was about to get fucked over.

"I didn't really want to bring you here, honestly Josh. I don't trust you, you know? I dont have any drugs here. But I have money. So just stay away from my room, okay?" Tyler rambled as he unlocked the door and stepped onto the laminated flooring of the hallway. He slipped his vans off and instructed Josh to do the same. He did, lamely tugging at his boots until they fell onto the floor with a thump that made him jump, just slightly.

"Here, follow me. Are you tired?"  
"Yeh…"  
"Okay, here, Josh?" Tyler paused, watching Josh clutch his stomach and puff out his cheeks, hopefully not about to puke on Tylers floor. "You can kip on the couch. Don't puke, alright?"  
Josh nodded lazily and shuffled over to the couch, laying on his front and burrowing into his arm, hazy eyes still partially focused on Tyler.

"I need to tidy around my house, but it's getting a little late, so… I suppose you can sleep. I mean-" he trailed off when Josh's eyes fluttered closed and he huffed out a breath.

-

Josh woke up to himself gagging and heaving, flinging himself to the floor and landing in a pile of bile, wretching painfully and not caring about the filth all over his forearms.

He groaned, body shaking, and sat up on his knees, wiping at his swearing forehead with his hand that twitched violently.

Swallowing, he looked around cautiously to find that he wasn't in his own home. He chewed his lips and stood on frail legs, using the couch to hoist himself up, almost slipping in his own bodily fluid.  
"Fuck," he whispered, looking down at himself and seeing the sweat stains near his arm pits and the wet on his pants. He'd pissed himself. 

His head pounded and he felt like he was dying, crouching over himself and clutching at his stomach and sides.

He stumbled over to the end of the couch where his phone was lay on the arm, and picked it up, almost dropping it. 

He searched through his contacts and sniffed, feeling something thick and wet drip onto his lips, and he wiped his hand to find his nose was bleeding.

-

Tyler arrived to find a nauseating stench filtering through the hallway to burn his nose. He belched, covered his mouth and nose with a hand, and closed the door behind him.  
He walked into the living room to find it a mess.  
Not only was there vomit laid, staining the carpet with acid, but he found a smashed photo frame and couch cushions strewn around.

"Fucking shit," he seethed, running a hand through his hair and turning to glare up the stairs where he heard running water.  
He'd been gone only two hours, assuming he'd be safe leaving the passed out druggie on the couch.   
"Never trust an addict." He hissed, beginning to storm his way up the stairs and slamming himself into the bathroom door.  
"Josh? Open the fucking door, now!" He called, rapping at it with his fist. "Oi! Open this door or I'll come in there and fucking kill you!"  
Of course he wouldnt. But he was pissed when he heard no movement on the other side.

"Alright. Fine. Fuck you."   
He rolled up his sleeves and shoved his booted foot into the door, watching it crack under the pressure.  
He did the same thing five times before there was a hole at the bottom of the door big enough for him to crawl under and make his way into the room.

When he picked himself up, he began to notice that the reason Josh wasn't answering him was because he was fucked up.  
The shower was spraying over him, but he was passed out in the tub, arm hanging over the edge. There was blood running down it, still pulsing out so he knew it was relatively fresh, but when he inched closer he began to see it was from a cluster of puncture wounds.  
His lips were blue. And he was so skinny. Fuck. He was so fucking skinny.

He pressed a hand to Josh's neck, barely finding a pulse and he couldn't actually hear him breathing.

"Fuck," he breathed, his hand jolting back to bite at his fingers. "Josh? Josh- are you even fucking alive? Shit."  
Slowly, but surely, he delved into panic, dragging Josh's upper body so he was sitting up with Tylers support and holding his head in his hands. "Josh! Fucking idiot!"  
Josh's head lolled to the side and Tyler let him drop again, breath hitching in his throat.

He remembered having heard that saline solution could push out the endorphins that drugs pushed into the receptors, and he turned, pulling the destroyed door open and running down the steps.  
He turned on a tap and picked up a glass from the drainer, filling it with water and then grabbing a tub of salt and shaking an amount he hoped would fucking work into it.

He made his way back to the room where Josh was probably dying and looked around frantically for whatever needle Josh had used to inject with.   
He found it laid on the toilet lid and picked it up between the pads of his fingers, letting the needle delve into the salt water and pulling up the plunger so the syringe filled.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He reiterated, rushing back to the bath and picking up Josh's arm, stepping into the water and crouching over him. He had no fucking clue how to inject someone, but twisted Josh's arm in an attempt to find a vein. It was hard, Josh's body was cold because of the icy spray so his veins weren't visible, so he settled for plunging it in near the series of wounds already made there. 

He watched desperately for any signs of it working, throwing the needle and cradling Josh's face, using his thumbs to hold up his eyelids and he nearly cried when he saw the white disappear and the irises and blown pupils flicker into vision.   
"Josh! You fucking idiot! Fuck you!" He jeered, shaking him as the man came back to consiousness, then pulled him into his chest.

Josh gasped and wrapped a heavy arm around him, fingers clutching desperately at Tylers soaked shirt.

"That's fucking it. You're going clean Josh. Never again." Tyler sobbed. He wasn't crying, but his body knew of nothing else to do.

-

"Tyler. Tyler. Tyler- I can't do this anymore."  
Josh was sobbing, writhing on the flooring of his flat. Tyler stood over him and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, rubbing them.  
"You have to."

It was the second day Josh hadn't taken any substances.   
The first, he'd been mildly irritated, attempting to distract himself with games on his phone and a book of join the dots that he'd been mostly unable to complete, vision blurred and head aching.

But now, Tyler really couldn't help the man that grabbed for his feet and tried to drag him down to the floor.  
"Please!"  
"No. I need to leave. You can do this."  
He missed the way Josh's eyes were glazed over with doubt and knowing, and when he returned to stand outside of Josh's apartment, gaping at the door and pressing his ear to it.  
"Too much! Ah- fuck."

-

Josh's body was burning and itching, and he called the only man he really knew.

"Josh? Haven't talked to you in a while huh? Well, i have, but you're fucking-"  
"Oh, fuck, Rob, I need you. I'll let you do anything. I need something- something, God, I've- I've had nothing-"  
"Woah, Joshie. Calm down there." The man purred, music to Josh's pickling ears. "I'll be there , baby."

Josh moved restlessly as he waited, breathing loud and pulling at his hair, head jerking at every sound he heard.

When he heard the door go, he couldn't shift himself so he let Rob make his own way in, sitting on the couch and sliding down slightly, he watched as the man reared his (ugly) head, hair black and slick, and sniffed the air.  
"Gross."  
God, Josh knew he was gross.

"What's up with you?"  
Josh smacked his head involuntarily. "I havent- I've been t-trying to stay clean, but-"  
"You're a whore and an addict. I know." Rob smirked and stalked over to him, holding up a bag of powder in front of Josh with an evil glint in his eye.  
"You cant have it till after." Josh felt tears sting his eyes but he didn't protest. He needed it. "But, I can't have you crying and twisting while I'm using you. Try this."   
Josh's hand was pryed open and two pills rested in his palm.  
"W-what is it?"  
"Like you care?" Rob sneered. "It's something people use for anxiety. The crazies, like you." Rob punctuated his humor by widening his eyes briefly and Josh forced a laugh, placing the pills on the floor and smashing them with the side of his fist, hunching over and sniffing it up his nose straight from the floor. 

Of course it wouldn't get him high. But it took the edge off.

Josh sighed and sat back up, closing his eyes and rubbing his nose.   
"Take off your clothes, then."  
Josh bit his lips and lifted his weak arms to pull his jumper over his head and let it drop on the floor.  
Rob took over then, dragging his jogger bottoms down and not grimacing when he saw Josh was naked beneath which was strange. Probably because he was clean after spending hours lying stoic in a bath tub.

"Turn over."  
Josh got onto his knees and moved so his chest pressed against the floor, arms crossed beneath his stomach as he waited, eyes drifting across the room to look longingly at the door as he felt Rob press himself against his entrance, wet with lube.  
"No prep? Ah-! O-okay…"  
Rob tugged his hair, smushing his face into the carpet painfully as he pushed in, Josh's knees scraping and rubbing into the scratchy carpet.  
He clenched his eyes shut then, mouth open as he panted and grimaced when Rob used him, moving him around easily. 

Rob pulled out suddenly, reaching for his pocket and pulling out the heroin he carried with him.  
"Here- snort it."  
He tossed it to near Josh's arm, and Josh pushed himself off the floor, frowning. He disliked sniffing it. It took longer to work. But god, he needed it and wasn't getting it sooner any other way.   
Rob handed him a cut off straw piece and he didn't hesitate to pour the majority of the powder on the back of his hand, lining it up and sticking the straw partly up his nostril, sniffing up as hard as he could and then throwing the straw and blocking one nostril while he sniffed to make sure he'd got it all.

"There you go." Rob ran a hand through his hair and pushed him back down and pressed back in relentlessly this time, and Josh hissed through his teeth.

Rob always took a long time to finish. Josh didn't really know his age, but he could've guessed be was in his late forties or fifties, so maybe that was why?   
He'd given him a disease before. He pissed every five minutes and had a rash for five days before he got medical attention.  
Better yet, Josh had given Rob at least three different infections and each time the shit had been beaten out of him, either by Rob or someone he knew.

His skin began to itch and Josh whined, subtly trying to itch his arm, stopping when Rob slapped the back of his head.  
He felt himself turn completely flaccid, nausea flooding him.   
"Too much! Ah- fuck."

-

Tyler contemplated if walking in on Josh getting fucked in his own flat was a good idea or not for a moment, but he quickly walked in when he heard a gruff voice telling him to "shut up.".

"Hey!" Tyler snapped, letting the bag of basic food he'd brought with him drop the floor. 

The man Tyler recognised as Rob paused and pulled out of Josh's body slowly, tucking himself away and standing up.

Josh's body fell to the ground without the support and he rubbed his face onto the carpet, brows furrowed together and legs squirming.  
"Did you give him something?" Tyler groaned. 

Rob shrugged. "He was desperate. What's your deal? You coming here to sell?"  
"No. I'm making him stop. Fuck." Tyler dropped to Josh's side and placed a hand on his back.  
"He can't stop. He's fucked up."


	3. Switchblade smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh is on detox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo so I'm gonna extend this to five chapters because three is my safe number but I couldn't write it all here because reasons. Five is a downgrade but okay.  
> This is kinda just a filler chapter 
> 
> Chapter title is switchblade smiles by Kasabian.
> 
> Leave feeback!!

"That's fucking it, get up, get the fuck up Josh." 

Tyler was fucking pissed, and Josh was nodding in and out of consiousness on the floor.  
"Wha'sit?"  
"Fucking hell. Get up and put your clothes on!" Tyler growled, looking around the room to find that Josh's jeans were covered in filth, so he stormed to his room and picked out a pair of white shorts.  
He threw them at Josh's head.  
"Hope you don't get fucking shit on them something. You're so gross you probably will."  
He didn't miss the shame and hurt in Josh's eyes and his heart clenched sympathetically.  
"Sorry- look, just put them on, and we'll go to mine, yeah? You can sleep and then we can talk."  
Josh, being easily persuaded, nodded like it was the best idea he'd ever heard and pulled himself up with a choked noise and Tyler saw the blood and cum that seeped out of him and down his thighs.  
"Wait- I'll get you some underwear."

-

Josh's head lolled to the side, cheek sticking with sweat onto the couch he was propped up on.  
His face was pale with a sheen of sweat, making his once red hair cling to it in a way that shouldn't have been attractive, and Tyler had to remind himself that this guy had just snorted heroin and could die at any minute.

Josh snorted and his eyes opened, hand coming up to rub his nose and a lazy smile spreading across his lips.  
"M' I at yours Ty?"  
"Yeah. You're at my house." Tyler sighed, watching Josh with doubt.  
"Tired."  
"Go to sleep, then." Tyler didn't know if that was a good idea, but Josh was already mostly unconcious so he couldn't see any problem. 

Josh gave a full body shudder before his body fell to the side, and Tyler breathed out shakily, walking out to the kitchen and pulling out a pan. He wanted to give Josh some fucking food, he'd probably die of malnutrition before the drugs.

-

Josh whimpered when his eyes fluttered open, his head thrumming and ears pulsating painfully.  
"F-fuck- ahh…"  
Josh forced himself to turn over so he wasn't staring at the ceiling, he could feel mucus clogging in his throat and his lungs hitched and struggled to pull in oxygen, and looked around the room and immediately recognized it as Tyler house.

"Tyler?" He said as loud as he could, which wasn't loud at all, but he still heard a small crash and footsteps sounding through the hallway.

Tyler opened the white painted door fully and stepped into the room.  
"Finally. You've been passed out for like four hours. I kinda thought you died, but you kept choking so i knew you didn't."  
Josh stared blankly at Tyler, who huffed and let his arms drop to his sides.  
"I'm making you some food."  
"I-I'm not hungry, but thanks-"  
"No. No- you're going to eat Josh, when was the last time you ate?" Tyler stopped himself from adding 'anything other than cum' to his question.  
"I-I can't remember. I can't eat anything, Tyler, please…"  
"You'll fucking die Josh. You're eating." Tyler ordered, pointing a finger at Josh who flinched and nodded quickly.  
"Okay." 

Tyler made a triumphant noise and made his way back to the kitchen and Josh struggled to sit up, his full body beginning to shake irritatingly.

While Josh tried hard not to vomit, Tyler walked back in with two plates, one with a steaming soup and the other piled with fibrous fruits that made Josh's stomach churn.

Josh settled himself and pulled a pillow onto his lap, then Tyler set the foods on top of it and sat beside him, flicking the TV on and watching him expectantly.  
Josh puffed out his cheeks and breathed out shakily, picking up a pineapple ring and squeezing his eyes shut as he stuffed it into his mouth, chewing quickly against the waves of sickness and swallowing before he had a chance to taste it.  
He carried on with this ritual, forcing himself to eat as much as he could handle without puking.

He rubbed his stomach and leaned his head back, jolting as he gagged and then calmed again.

After a while, his stomach settling, he spoke up. "I used to be really fit, you know."  
He said it so softly Tyler almost didn't hear him, but he turned his head to show Josh he was paying attention.  
"I-I used to work out and… and play drums." He swallowed. "I was healthy."  
"What changed?" Tyler asked quietly.  
Josh tensed up visibly and flapped a hand. "It doesn't matter." He busied himself before Tyler could pry by picking up the spoon that sat in the soup and shoved it in his mouth, metal clicking against his teeth that were cracked and shortened from years of grinding together.

Tyler exhaled heavily and looked away from him, putting his head into his hands briefly before he looked back again.  
"You're stopping Josh- and I don't care what you say. You're staying here with me and going cold turkey, okay?"  
"You cant force me to stay…"  
"No, but I could call the police. Heroin is illegal." Tyler pointed out, and Josh grimaced.  
"You used to deal." Was his weak reply and Tyler snorted.  
"Not anymore, there's no proof... will you stay?"  
Reluctantly, Josh agreed.

-

"When did you start taking drugs?"

Tyler had decided to escort Josh to his room, to lay on his bed after his teeth started chattering and he said he was freezing.  
Tyler laid on top of the blanket because the house was warm, but Josh curled up beneath it.

"Th-three years ago, maybe. I s-started with uh, weed and pills… then coke."  
"What do you think was the worst?"  
"Heroin, for sure."  
"But how did you start?" Tyler pryed and Josh hid his face in the covers.  
"A friend… I wanted to get fucked up. H-he only had weed. Then I met Rob…"  
"He's so wrong, you know that right? He gives you drugs so you'll sleep with him. How old are you?"  
Josh was silent, and Tyler pondered if he even knew his own age.  
"Twenty one."  
"But Robs like, fifty six?" Tyler laughed in disbelief but Josh didn't react.  
"Will you tell me why you started?" Tyler stared into the dark and waited for a reply, but when he didn't get one, he dropped it.  
"Will you believe me if I said I can't remember?"  
"No."

-

Josh's leg bounced ridiculously fast and his head hung, aimed over the toilet bowl as Tyler poured him a glass of water down the stairs.

His stomach twisted and yet more bile filled the toilet in front of him and he let out a raw sob, hearing Tyler scuttle into the room and place a hand on his shoulder.  
"I-I can't do this- give me m-my phone. I-I need to call someone." Josh's voice shook and cracked and he held his hand out, though it was clenched in a fist that he didn't have the power to unwind.

"No Josh. I'm here now- you can do this, okay?" Tyler soothed him, holding the cold glass up to his lips and Josh opened his mouth slightly, looking despairingly at Tyler as he sipped at the water. 

His mouth was still dry when he stopped drinking and spat into the toilet. 

"Can you stand up?"  
Josh bit his lips and grabbed Tylers arm, trying to stand but his legs were tensed and he struggled, embarrassingly.  
"I can do it, just- ugh" He said, voice strained and face turning red with effort.  
"Just calm down, Josh."  
"I can't! You try to stay fucking calm when all you want to do is get fucked up and fucking die!" Josh snapped, using the hand he'd held onto Tyler with to push him away. Tyler put his hands up in a surrendering motion and stayed where he was.

Josh put his head into his hands and started to cry quietly, his shoulders shaking.  
"I give up," he choked out, "I just want to fucking die. I don't wanna be here no more," he cried, head jerking and then he stood up on achimg legs, pushing his hair back and holding his hands behind his head. 

"You want to come to bed?" Tyler asked,  
apprehensive, motioning to the door.  
Josh looked at him skeptically. "I don't want to have sex."  
"No-no I meant, to rest?"  
"Kay." Josh whimpered, shuffling after Tyler and fanning his baggy shirt by pulling the fabric from his chest and letting it fall again.

He crawled up the bed and brought his legs to his chest, laying on his side and then twisting so he was on his back.  
Josh was running his hands over his stomach, eyes squeezed shut, and kicking his legs, eventually removing his shirt because he was burning.

His ribs were poking through his blemished skin, it made Tyler feel queasy but he knew force feeding him over the next couple of days would be a bad idea whilst he was on a come down, he'd probably just puke it all up or, alternatively, murder Tyler.

Josh's breathing was terribly shallow and he had snot running down his lips as he watched the window tentatively.  
"You look tired Josh, why don't you sleep?" He suggested, it seemed to be the only thing he could think of.  
"I can't sleep."  
Tyler hummed. "I have work tonight. I'm locking you in here, alright? And I'll leave some food and water in here, and your phone, but I've deleted some contacts."  
Tyler couldnt gauge Josh's feelings about what he was being told. But his lip quivered and his eyes watered. He didn't know if it was because he was going to be alone or because he'd deleted the contacts he could get drugs from.

-

"Mom? Mom, it's Josh."  
"Josh?! Why haven't you called? What have you been doing?"  
"Mom- mom, I need to Um. I-I need some money, please."  
He heard a huff on the other side and hit his temple.  
"No, Joshua. You still owe us three hundred dollars. You're not getting a penny until you've paid us back, and left that man-"  
"I-I've left him. I'm staying with- with a friend."  
"We're still paying your rent! Why didn't you tell us?"  
"Because I've been ill, okay?" Josh cried, hunching over himself when his stomach cramped.  
"You mean you stopped taking drugs? And that's why you're calling, because you want to buy more? I cannot believe this."  
"No- please, i-"  
Josh heard a door slam In the house and quickly stammered "I've gotta go." Before hanging up and tossing his phone away, biting at his fingernails and watching the door as it was unlocked.  
"Who were you on the phone to?"  
"No one, I was just-"  
"Don't lie. Who was it?" Tyler snapped, narrowing his eyes.  
"M-my mom." Josh mumbled. "I was asking her… for money." He admitted, heart palpatating in his chest.  
Tyler frowned and shook his head at him. Dissapointed.

Josh looked away and turned so he was facing the wall, laying and pulling a pillow down so he could curl around it, tearing up and crying openly, but quietly, to himself, wearing only jogging bottoms.  
Tyler watched his shoulders shake and listened to his sniffles and whimpers and the way he pushed his face into the pillow and nuzzled it for comfort.

"Josh? It's okay, man," Tyler placed a hand on his side and Josh hissed, rolling away from the touch. His skin probably ached.

"Did you eat anything?"  
"No." Josh said tearfully.  
"Okay- i had this idea, right, so I read that when you chew on gum you feel hungry because your body thinks you're eating, so I got this huge pack of gum, I was thinking If you eat it you'll feel hungry." Tyler rambled excitedly, pulling the chewy from his pocket and putting it in Josh's line of vision.  
Josh grunted and closed his eyes, holding tighter to the pillow and rocking himself slightly.

-

The third day with no drugs was the worst.

Josh was barely human, but a ravenous, desperate, terrified little animal.

At nine in the morning, Tyler woke up to find Josh humping his own hand and whispering things he couldn't understand. When he looked, Josh was hard but he didn't look like he was even feeling anything, but like he was trying desperately to do so.  
"I can't feel it." Josh sobbed suddenly, Tyler hadn't even realised that he'd noticed him watching.  
"It's okay. Just leave it," Tyler murmured, placing a hand on Josh's arm and pulling his hand off himself. 

 

At ten, Tyler had to get out of bed because Josh had gotten naked and was kicking at nothing. Just kicking his legs. As if he was a child having a temper tantrum. He would ocassionally pull the top half of his body up, legs creasing in a dead fly motion and moan, probably trying to ease stomach pains.

 

"I need the bathroom!" Josh called, at half ten, and Tyler rushed to help him, hoping he hadnt shit the bed. He hadnt, but he was sweating profusely and hunched over himself.

 

By twelve, Tyler wanted to kill himself more than Josh did.  
Josh sat on the toilet for an hour and when he got off, he laid himself on the floor and screamed and picked up Tylers razor, threatening to kill himself with it. He dropped it when his hand spasmed and Tyler stole it quickly, throwing it out of the window and dodging when Josh lunged for him and knocked himself out when he went head first into the wall.


	4. Dear prudence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh gets clean n fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left now! That one will be longer and may have a nice ending if I'm feeling good. 
> 
> Chapter title is dear prudence by siouxsie and the banshees. 
> 
> Leave feedback. It's my sustanance.
> 
> (Attempted suicide and rape memories in this chapter)

"I was raped."  
Josh tells Tyler this one day while they lay in bed, watching a new series on Tylers phone. (Or attempting to. Josh found it hard to keep focused.)  
Tyler promptly dropped his phone, managing to fling it so it fell to the floor. He didn't pause to pick it up.  
"What?"  
"That's... That's why I started taking drugs." Josh paused and swallowed. "I was walking home. Alone. At night. So fucking typical, right? But there was a girl and a guy there, and they pulled me into their fucking sleazy alleyway... A-and the guy fucked me. The girl sat on my face while the guy… came in me. They left me after. I thought I was dying." Tyler was at a loss for words, watching Josh's face contort with pain and anger. "He fucked me so hard I honestly thought he'd ripped my colon out, or, or shifted it. Or something." Josh finished quietly, staring distantly. His face was red as if he was embarrassed, and Tylers heart hurt. 

He was about to speak up, couldn't think of anything worth saying, but Josh continued. "It hurt so bad- I-I had to call an ambulance because I couldn't move and I caught fucking… fucking syphilis and crabs from them. It was disgusting. I'm disgusting- fuck." Josh's voice cracked and Tyler wrapped an arm around his shoulders, using his other hand to hold the back of Josh's head and bring him into his chest.  
"You're not disgusting, Josh, you're-"  
"You said it yourself. You've said it a lot." Josh interrupted, fisting his hands into Tylers shirt and unashamedly wiping his nose on him, crying brokenly. 

"I know I did, but I didn't mean-"  
"You did. I'm fucking filthy, I should-"  
"Stop it," Tyler ordered and Josh whimpered, hiding his face. "Josh, I didn't know you, okay? I was being a fucking asshole. I didn't mean it- you're not gross, okay? You're okay now, alright? I'm here." Tyler cooed, running a hand through Josh's (greasy) hair and deciding on kissing his head quickly.

"But you'll leave me. I-I need you." Josh whined, sliding further down so his head was resting on Tylers thighs. His face was damp with sweat, snot and tears. Tyler ran his thumb beneath Josh's eye and Josh looked up at him warily, chewing on his lips that seemed to be permenantly dry and cracked.

"I won't leave you. I'll be here, always. I swear to you."   
Josh looked at him doubtfully but nodded regardless.

"I-I really need to shower. Can I take a shower?" His voice was still hiccuping from crying, but he'd calmed down.   
"Course you can." Tyler shifted Josh's head and shuffled off the edge of the bed, padding to the bathroom and turning the shower head on, holding his hand beneath it to check the temperature. 

He turned his head when he felt breathing on the back of his neck, raising an eyebrow when Josh's face came into view.  
"Thank you, so much."  
Josh had his arms wrapped around Tylers waist and then his face pressed into his back. Tyler cleared his throat and awkwardly patted one of Josh's hands.  
"It's okay…" he mumbled, sucking in a sharp breath as Josh ghosted his lips over Tylers cheek.  
(He didn't smell good but Tyler wouldn't say that.)

"Josh…"  
"Sorry- I'm sorry, I-I don't know why…" Josh stuttered and ushered Tyler towards the door before he could finish his sentence.

-

The water felt like little pins being dropped onto him from a height.   
He moaned and shielded his head from the spray, closing his eyes and forcing himself to endure it because he was so dirty and he needed to be clean.

He watched as a mixture of dirt and blood and probably vomit ran down the drain, making him feel ill all over again. 

Forcing himself to look away, he focused on picking up the two-in-one shampoo and conditioner bottle, squirting a small pool of it onto the palm of his hand and rubbing it into his hair, closing his eyes against the suds that ran down his face.

He wasn't suprised to see he clumps and stray strands of hair that clung between his fingers when he looked at his hand, but rinsed out his hair and let them be taken with the flow of the water.

It was just like when he wasn't suprised when he'd dropped from a healthy eleven stone to nine. Or when his teeth cracked and began to discolour. He'd been quick to start taking care of them when he was consious enough to realise.

He sucked on his lips and looked down at himself, grimacing at what he'd done.  
He was thin, he knew it, his knees knobbly and pubic hair unkempt.  
He had track marks everywhere.   
Arms, legs, calf's, the backs of his knees, chest and even toes. Of course they scarred easily.

He knew he looked terrible. He felt it, always. 

The door of the bathroom hadn't yet been fixed and there was still a hole at the bottom of the door, and Josh saw Tylers legs appear. "You done in there? I need the toilet,"   
Josh knew Tyler didn't need the toilet. He probably didn't want him taking long in case he was killing himself. And God, did he want to. It could be easy. 

He let his eyes wander the bathroom, surveying the options.   
There was disinfectant and bleach on top of the toilet lid, but Josh knew that would cause excruciating pain that would last a long time before he died, and if he survived he'd be left with stomach and mouth ulcers for the rest of his life.   
Spare blades in a small container on the window sill, but those took time to break apart and Josh didn't have the guts to cut and cut and cut the same spot until it hit tendons and bone.   
The other thing he thought, looking up at the rail and shower curtain, was to hang himself.  
Chances are, it'd only take a minute or so and he'd stop feeling it once his oxygen cut off. 

"Yeah, I'll be five minutes."

-

Tyler chose to stay outside of the bathroom, tapping his foot and listening intently. Something in Josh's voice wasn't right. 

He shunned himself for being so ridiculous after waiting around for a minute, about to walk away when he heard a wet slipping noise from behind the (half) door.  
"Josh?"  
His reply was more sliding, and then a loud bang followed by small kicking noises, the unmistakable sound of something hitting against the bath tub.  
Without thinking, he ducked under the door and found that Josh had tied the shower curtain around his neck and was trying to fucking hang himself with it.

"Holy fucking hell!" 

Tyler snapped into action, striding over to the tub where Josh was thrashing. He may have wanted to die, but his body was protesting.  
Tyler stepped one foot on the toilet lid and the other on the bath tub side, wrapping his arms around Josh's legs and pulling him up so the pressure on his neck was relieved.

Josh was gasping, gulping in the air with bulging eyes and Tyler let go of his legs with one hand and reached up to tear desperately at the hoops that held the curtain up, then the knot that was around Josh's neck, tugging on it and panting with exertion, a choked groan leaving his lips when Josh finally fucking fell back into the tub, spluttering and clutching his neck.

"What the fuck?!," Tyler shrieked, not thinking when he struck Josh's cheek with his hand and then stood back, tearing at his own hair. 

Josh cried out and covered his face with his hands, weeping loudly, echoing in the room. The noises he made held all of his sorrow and fear within them. 

"Why the fuck would you do that to me? Josh! Answer me!"   
Josh looked at him, face one of dread, and cringed away when Tyler held out a hand to him.   
"Josh? Josh, answer me."

Josh was in hysterics, and pulled his knees to his chest, hiding his face in his arms and rocking himself slightly.   
"Josh."

-

Josh had detached himself from reality, Tyler could see by watching him huddle in the corner of his room, biting the skin of his thumb and gawking vacantly into thin air.

Tyler stood in front of him, clicking his fingers in front of his eyes and clapping his hands by his ears. Josh watched him but didn't react to what he was doing and Tyler sighed in annoyance and sat down.

"You need to talk to me."  
"Why did you do it?"  
"Do you really want to die? Think about it."  
"You're already getting better."  
"You haven't had anything in a week, you're doing so great."

It was an entirely one sided conversation, but Josh's eyes flickered, showing his attention to it.

"Please, Josh. Just talk." 

-

"Did you really want to die?"

Josh turned his head to Tyler, slowly chomping on the ice cream in his mouth and swallowing.   
"Yeah."

Tyler glanced at the markings on Josh's neck and then looked up to his face.  
"You still wanna?" he asked casually, licking his cream covered index finger.  
Josh hummed around his spoon. "Yeah. Always. But… it'll get better?"  
"Yeah."  
Josh smiled and then huffed. "I'm so full."   
Tyler gaped at him, "how even? You've not even ate half the tub yet," he said, peeking over at Josh's tub of icecream and then back to his own, that was almost empty and he wasn't feeling full yet.

"S'pose cos I didn't eat properly for a while." He shrugged, clicking the lid back onto the tub and then laying back with his arms behind his head.   
"I'm gonna start working out soon, when I've put on some weight. And I really want, like, this tattoo up my arm- like a tree," he was gesturing to his arm, that was a lot thicker now than what Tyler remembered but not with muscle. 

"That'll look cool," he smiled, "You'll look good with some muscle, i think," He stated, smirking and looking at the TV when Josh blushed and hid his smile by biting into the neck of his hoodie.

Instantaneously, a warm Josh was clambering on top of his legs and looking him in the eyes cautiously, breathing hushed.  
"Tyler- I. I like you."  
And he's pushing his lips to Tylers.  
(Tyler almost expects him to taste bad, and he needs to stop thinking those things about Josh. He tastes good. Chewing gum. Peppermint.)

Josh's lips are dry, they always are, but Tylers are spit covered so things are smoother. Tyler raises a hand to place a hand on Josh's cheek, but he winces back and recoils with a wet noise.

"S-sorry, did you not-"  
"No- it's fine, c'mere."   
Josh looks uncertain, but let's his mouth open slightly, so Tyler places a hand gently on Josh's side and licks over his lips, and then into his mouth and Josh moans so softly.

Awkwardly, Tyler opens his eyes to check up on the situation, and he comes to hold eye contact with Josh, who snorts and pulls back then, wiping a hand over his mouth and laughing beautifully, face flushed.

"Were you staring at me?" Tyler giggles, sliding the hand on Josh's side down to his hip and squeezing, reassuringly.   
"Uh. Yeah, S-sorry." 

Tyler shook his head and Josh settled himself beside him, sitting close but not imitating anything, his face looked sullen again and Tyler hated it.

"I think I need to call my mom. She'll be worrying about me."   
"You wanna call her now?"  
Josh let out a long suffering sigh and nodded, holding his hand out for his phone that Tyler kept care of.

Josh took a deep breath and dialed his mother's phone, putting it on loud speaker because it felt safer that way.

She picked up after three rings, sounding tired.  
"Hello?"  
"Oh, hi mom. Did I wake you up?"  
"Oh! Josh," she breathed, sounding relieved.   
"Yeah, I just wanted to. Check in."  
"Did you want to borrow money, Josh, honestly?"  
"N-no! I was just… ugh, nevermind. I'll go."  
"No- okay Josh. How are things?"  
A small smile made its way onto his lips when Tyler placed a hand over Josh's.   
"Things are better... way better, thanks to my friend. Tyler," he gave Tyler a shy smile. 

One thing Tyler observed, though, with heroin addicts past or present, was the breathy and stammered way they talked. Josh seemed to stumble with words, going too slow or too fast and overlapping letters.

"Oh. I've never heard of him? Would you… like to bring him over for lunch?" She sounded reluctant, forced, but Josh made up his mind before anyone else could change theirs.  
"Yeah! For sure."

When he got off the phone, he pulled an apologetic face at Tyler.  
"Will you come for food?"  
Tyler rolled his eyes. "S'pose i have to now."


	5. Flowing in and filling up my hopeless heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And. Happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I wrote this when I was ill (don't do drugs) and when I feel sick and write fanfics I honestly get worse and puke maybe that's my bodies way of saying hey you sick fuck stop writing fanfictions about two guys who don't know you but ya know what fuck that I tried my best here's the last chapter enjoy and write comments thanks  
> ALSO TYLER TOPS I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT like seriously he's clearly the more dominant one just because Josh has a bigger build doesn't mean he tops he's so vunerable and precious .  
> I feel like I dragged out the sex scene but at the same time I wanted to make it realistic and it's important to me, okay?  
> Thanks for reading this story!! Leave comments and yyaaa. 
> 
> Also I included the ear stretching part because I just finished stretching mine and it's special to me.  
> (Chapter title is from "the caterpillar" by the cure. Highly recommend)

Eventhough Tyler was the one who was going to be meeting Josh's parents, Josh was the one freaking out.  
He sweat nervously, wearing only a light shirt that he fanned against his chest and puffed out his cheeks.

"Why are you so scared? Should I be scared?" Tyler asked, sitting on the settee and folding one leg over the other comfortably.  
"No- if we were both nervous then that would go really bad," he huffed, "they're just... I've made bad decisions and… They've been there. I don't want them thinking bad things about you, is all." He paused, then, "and the last time I saw them I smoked crack in the back garden."

Tyler widened his eyes almost comically.  
"That's pretty bad… But it'll be fine."  
He gave Josh a smile that he hoped was reassuring, even if he started to fear for himself knowing that Josh's family would be down his throat in the next hour.

"Yeah. Okay." Josh nodded and closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing steady.  
"I havent been around them sober for years. I don't know how to act," he admitted, looking to Tyler for advice that Tyler honestly couldn't give. 

-

Tyler found it a bit strange that Josh knocked on the door of his own family home and then stepped back politely, holding a bottle of wine that Tyler insisted on buying for Josh to give them.

Josh chewed obnoxiously on the gum in his mouth, he had it to both calm his nerves and so he felt hungry enough to eat properly. 

The door was opened quickly when someone realised they had knocked and Josh waited to see who it was before he stepped forward and gave, presumably his mom, a tight hug, clutching the fabric of her shirt in his hands and resting his head on her shoulder before pulling away and gesturing to Tyler.  
"Th-this is Tyler, he bought you this-" Josh fumbled with the wine bottle and pressed it to her chest, so Tyler stepped forward and nodded in a greeting way.

"How nice. Thank you, Tyler." She smiled but it seemed forced, avoiding eye contact with both of them and made her way back into the house.

Josh pulled a face and followed after her, gripping Tylers arm and dragging him in as if he was about to run away.  
Josh removed his boots so Tyler copied, placing them neatly near the door, walking into a room Josh had slunk into and wringing his hands.

"Dad, hey," Josh was holding out his hand to his dad, who took it strongly and pulled him into a side hug, gesturing for them to take seats.  
"Dad- this is Tyler, my friend- I've been staying-"

"Have you been giving my son drugs?" He asked, eyeing Tyler suspiciously and folding his arms over the table.  
"No! Hes- he's the reason I s-stopped," 

Both his mom and dad gasped and his mom nearly dropped the two plates of food she was holding, quickly placing them on the table and then turning, cradling Josh's head in her hands and looking him in the eyes.  
She must've realised that instead of pinpoints for pupils, Josh's eyes were blown and aware for the first time in years, because she carded a hand through his hair and stroked the back of his neck, bringing him in to hug her and squeezing him tightly. 

"He's clean?" His dad sounded shocked and his mother nodded. "Are you sure? Why are you chewing gum, Joshua? He could be on something else- people chew when they try to stop their jaws swinging,-"

"I haven't had anything, I swear, in- Tyler, how long?" he was looking disheartened, waiting for Tyler to speak.  
"I think maybe, over two weeks now?" 

His mom put a hand over her heart and smiled as wide as his dad did.  
"I am so proud of you, Joshua. We both are."  
"Thanks," he beamed, looking down bashfully to his lap and shifting in his seat.

"So... why are you chewing so much then?" His dad pressed, taking the plate that Mrs Dun handed him and beginning to eat slowly. 

"It's, uh. It's so I feel hungry- I didn't really feel hungry before."  
They both looked uncomfortable and avoided carrying on the conversation. Tyler could tell they were the type of parents that cared dearly, but didn't understand enough to really try to help him.

Tyler stroked Josh's hand with his thumb under the table. They didn't tell his parents that he used to be a drug dealer, and when they left, Josh's dad thanked him with gleaming eyes.

-

Josh passed out in the taxi they took back to Tylers, both mentally and physically exhausted. Not only that, but he'd drank some of the wine and lager his parents had, insisting he could handle it and just wanted to drink so he wasn't left out too much.

Luckily, he wasn't a big guy and Tyler hefted him up into his arms and carried him into the house.  
(He'd definitely put on at least a stone, that made Tyler happy.)

Tyler was slotted behind Josh when he became consious again, groaning at the pains he'd acquired and thinking maybe it wasn't the best of ideas to drink when he was still recovering from drugs.

His hand slinked back so it rested on Tylers hip, soothing it as Tyler stirred behind him, stretching and groaning.  
"You okay?" he asked quietly, a hand twirling Josh's hair between his fingers.  
"M'good. Hungover," he murmured sleepily, eyes closing and humming peacefully.  
"I'm not suprised," Tyler laughed quietly, "you did so well yesterday, Josh. Your parents are so happy with you, you know that?" he was whispering onto Josh's neck, breath hot on the skin there.  
Josh moved the hand from Tylers hip and held his hand instead, pulling it so they rested on Josh's stomach.  
"Only 'cause of you," he whispered sincerely, "You've done so much for me, Tyler. If it wasnt for you- I'd be dead soon. I owe you everything."

Tyler tutted in disagreement but didn't say anything, choosing to fling his leg over Josh's hip instead.

"I really need a hair cut. It used to be like- a mowhawk, it was red but I really wanted to try green out," Josh mentioned flippantly.  
"I'll do it?" Tyler suggested, "that'd look sick."  
"Yeah?"  
"Mhm."

-

"Do I look like a bottom to you?"

Josh looked at Tyler from the corner of his eyes, swallowing the mouth full of red Bull and turning his head slowly.  
"What?"  
"Do I look like I'd bottom?"  
"You mean, as in-"  
"Yeah, like, sex? A lot of people say i would but I dunno."

"Uhm." Josh looked up in deep thought then blew out a breath, "I don't know, Tyler," he shrugged at last, fiddling with the game console remote in his hands.

Tyler hummed and restarted the game, but Josh was distracted, grinding his teeth until he eventually just stopped trying and Tyler paused again.  
"What's up?"  
"Should… should we, like, find out?"  
"Find out what?"  
"If you're a top or, like… not?" Josh began to play nervously with the elastic on his socks, looking down at them instead of Tyler.

Tyler was silent for a moment, putting the remote down and Josh immediately regretted saying anything. God, why did he think Tyler would want to have sex with him? He was gross. He'd probably catch something.  
"You probably don't want to, I'm sorry-"  
"No, like… I mean. Are you even sure? You were… hurt."  
Josh blenched and inhaled deeply, "Nevermind, then." He didn't bother turning back to the game or acting like he wanted to forget what he said, just tucked his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them.  
"Of course I want to- are you upset? Josh, don't be sad, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Tyler shuffled closer to Josh, who had his face stubbornly hidden, and ducked down so he could try to see his face.  
"Josh?"

"Just- go away."  
"Don't be like this. Come on. Talk to me?"  
Tyler situated himself so Josh was sitting between his legs and convinced him to lay, so Tyler was on his back and Josh was laid on his stomach, on Tyler, still not showing his face, burrowed into his neck.

"I asked you for sex and you said no… just. I don't know. I'm being pathetic." He sniffled but continued anyway, reassured by the hand stroking his back. "I-I don't want you to think I'm weak. I'm not weak- I'd say if I didn't want to have sex with you. I think I do- but, fuck, Tyler what even is this?" He sat up then, on his forearms to ask him directly, "What are we? Because we kiss and I sleep in the same bed as you, a-and we just talked about sex together, right? But we never talked about us... I'm probably other thinking it. Fuck, you probably just want to get rid of me, oh God," Josh groaned and slid away, standing up and scratching his head.  
"Josh- stop talking."  
Josh looked ready to run, or puke, or both. His face was pale and eyes red (they almost always were).

"Just. Calm down, right? Here, sit down," Tyler patted the space beside him and Josh confirmed, sinking onto the fabric and looking so innocent and scared. Tyler loved it. Maybe he was a bit of a sadist.  
"We could totally have sex, for sure, but let's leave it a while, yeah? When you've calmed down and we sleep. Maybe shower, you know how it is." He bumped Josh with his elbow and smiled, raising an eyebrow.  
Josh managed a small laugh and rubbed at his eyes.  
"I'm so annoying," he sighed, pouting cutely.  
"Nah. Come on, let's continue the game."

-

Josh bit his nails anxiously, laid back on Tylers bed with his head on the pillows, almost naked par the towel around his waist, and clean after showering.  
He was beginning to feel unsure. Tyler said he was going to get things they needed from a store, said he'd be fifteen minutes and it had already been twenty. What if he ran off? Josh probably disgusted him. Eventhough, when he looked at himself, he realised he'd put weight on. He looked like… normal. But not built, just heavier. He thought he looked good, but. Not enough. 

In the process of running this through his head, almost changing his mind and giving up, he didn't hear Tyler creeping up the stairs and walking into the room.  
"Josh, hey, so I got like-" Josh jumped and Tyler poured the contents of the bag onto the bed covers, spreading them out. "Condoms. I got plain, I figured that we don't need anything special, right? And lube, obviously. Three bottles incase… well. Yeah. And uh, two Mars bars for after because I was too scared to just get lube and condoms," he laughed slightly and stuffed the chocolates back in the bag, tossing that away and then making his way up the bed.

"You alright?" He asked warily, unzipping his jacket and throwing it to the side of the bed, leaning on one arm and looking at Josh intently.

"Yeah. Just nervous," Josh smiled honestly and put an arm behind his head, "how we gonna start this then?" he found himself blushing at the wording. He didn't know why he was so awkward. He'd slept with tens of men and women.

Tyler huffed and leaned forward, pressing his plumper lips to Josh's, that were moist and smooth for once. Josh hummed and Tyler took the opportunity to gently crawl over so he was sat on Josh's stomach, holding his face as they kissed lazily, Josh letting his hands roam up Tyler back, under his shirt and pulling apart briefly as he lifted it awkwardly over Tylers head.

"Look at you," Tyler murmured, running his hands dryly over Josh's mostly smooth chest, crouching down to run his mouth from Josh's navel, up to his neck.  
Josh moaned softly, putting a hand on the back of Tylers head, squirming beneath him and bucking his hips up discreetly as Tyler sucked on the side of his neck.

"W-will you take your clothes off?" he panted, fingers playing with the waistband of Tylers skinny jeans. Tyler nodded his head, sat up and unbuttoned his trousers, thighs bracketing Josh's chest threateningly and Josh half expected him to shuffle up and use his mouth then leave.

He turned his face away, shaking his head subconsciously, and let out a breath when Tyler got off him to pull his jeans down his thighs, thankfully not seeing Josh's miniature break down. 

"You good?"  
"Y-yeah."

Tyler laid back beside Josh, thumbing open a bottle of lube and Josh was kind of worried about how fast this was going to go until Tyler added a small amount to his palm and then inched his hand down to Josh's navel, pausing for a moment before he picked up Josh's cock in his hand.  
He was only half hard, but as Tyler kissed him wetly and pumped his hand, he felt a blood rush and he grew in Tylers hand, whimpering into his mouth.

Josh rested his head on the arm that Tyler held himself up with, his eyes slipping closed and biting back moans, legs tensing and then loosening up.  
Tylers breath was hot against his neck, looking down to where he was pleasuring Josh, trying to get him calm and show him he actually gave a shit about how he felt.  
"You- you should stop," Josh gasped, hand fisting the sheets near his head and opening his eyes to look desperately at Tyler, who grinned and licked over Josh's lips, lifting his hand and using the same one to palm himself through his underwear. He then lifted his hips and pushed his boxers down, kicking them off his ankles and biting at his lips, turning his gaze back to Josh.

"You still good?" Josh nodded and put both of his hands on his stomach, refraining from touching himself. "Sure?"  
"Yes!" He groaned, widening his eyes frustratedly and then laughing with Tyler, who rolled his eyes and got back to his knees, crawling between Josh's legs.  
"Let's get to it then," he picked up the bottle of lubrication he'd previously used and squirted a large amount into his left hand, dipping the fingers of his right hand into it and urging Josh to spread his legs further.  
"Spread your legs, baby," Tyler couldnt do it himself without getting lube everywhere, so Josh slowly inched his legs further apart and covered his face with an arm, shame making him turn beet red.  
"Okay… So I just kind of. Finger you, right?"  
"Wait- you've never done this?" Josh spluttered, half tempted to close his legs and hide away forever.  
"Well, no, not really. But I've watched porn. They don't show prep, though?" It was a question- do I finger you?  
"Y-yeah, just… you use like, three fingers i guess. I dunno. I've never topped before," he admitted, chewing on his tongue after.  
"Right. Tell me if it hurts?" Josh didn't reply, but sucked in a breath as Tyler sunk his middle finger into him, down to the knuckle, and stroked his stomach with the back of his other hand.

He pumped his finger a few times and pulled it back out, covering another finger in more lube.  
"You good for another?" Tyler asked, shuffling closer and waiting for Josh's quiet 'yeh' before inching in both fingers tenderly, reaching up with them in search of Josh's prostate.  
"Where the fuck…"  
It was a struggle, Josh's facial expression pulled back in a wince and unchanging until Tyler manoeuvred back slightly, curling his fingers up and then Josh's hips lifted up the bed with a breathless noise.  
"Yeah- that feel good?" Tyler furled his fingers crudely and Josh kept producing those shaky moans, pre cum leaking from his slit.  
"Y-yeah, so good. Fuck."

Josh wasn't used to someone taking the right amount of time and effort to prepare him, let alone find his prostate and try to pleasure him. It was overwhelming and terrifying to actually trust him. Which he did, wholly. He'd never been with someone in this way before.

Tyler was adding another finger beside the two, and Josh hissed through his teeth, his legs shaking from the slight pain and trepidation.  
"Doing so well, Josh. You look so good,"  
He could see Tyler was touching himself, too, licking his lips as he watched his fingers slide in and out of Josh. It made him feel used and vunerable, so he quickly stammered out- "You can fuck me now, I'm ready, now," desperate to move the attention.

"Okay, okay," Tyler removed his fingers, wiping them on Josh's thigh with a smirk when Josh scolded him, and then opening the box of condoms, tearing one from the strip. He opened the packaging, Josh faintly heard him mumble 'ooh it's already lubed up' and saw him roll it onto himself.

"You ready?" He was rubbing circles on Josh's knee with his thumb, holding his dick in the other and Josh had to take a moment to shift so his back would stop paining him, and then confirmed with bobbing his head slightly.

Tyler kneed back between his thighs and held himself against Josh's opening, hunkering down over him and letting his lips linger over Josh's as he began to slowly sink into him.

Josh groaned, letting his eyelids flutter shut as Tylers eyebrows shot up, stopping himself from just fucking into him.

Tyler breathed out harshly as he bottomed out, boney hips pressing against Josh's arse.

"I-is that okay? Josh, does it hurt too bad?" Tyler asked cautiously, holding himself up with his forearms at the sides of Josh's head.  
"Its- it's. Yeah. God-" Josh couldn't think of what to say, so he lifted a leg, wrapping it around Tylers waist and then using his arms to hold him close, clinging needily.

Tyler began to pull out, inch by inch, and press back in, repeating the motion a few times until Josh relaxed fully, still holding him close. He began a slow but sure rythm, shifting his hips in a desperate search to make Josh feel good, and fuck was he grateful when he hit that spot inside of him again, making Josh's back arch and his head fling back. Tyler moved himself again, so he was on his knees and holding onto Josh's hips, angling better meaning he could successfully rub up against his prostate. 

"Ty- Tyler, oh god-" Josh whimpered, not sure what to do with his own hands until he settled on placing one on his own dick and the other in the sheets.

He was jacking himself desperately, because he wasn't sure how long it would actually take him to come. It was usually a relatively long time.

"Feel so good, Josh," Tyler sighed, pumping his hips lusciously, his eyes unfocused and mouth wet. Josh's own mouth hung open, his eyes glassy with pleasure. "You're so good," 

Though if felt like they'd only just begun, Tyler felt embarrassingly close to coming, biting back his moans so he could hear Josh's instead was bringing him closer. Pure euphoria was etched into his face, and his whole body was sweating. Different from when he was on drugs.

"I'm really close," Tyler whined, and Josh tightened his thighs around him comfortingly.  
"Are you close?" He sounded so insecure, which was unlike him. It made Josh feel just a bit more in charge for once.

"I-I will be… soon," he gritted out, paying attention to a vein on the underside of his cock. He wasn't trying to orgasm immediately, he wanted to take his time with Tyler, but it had taken him half an hour to come once. It was awful and painful.

Tylers thrusting slowed down as he neared his peak, trying to keep going as long as he could, staring desperately at Josh, willing him to come before he did.  
"Not happening, Tyler," Josh breathed, his face red and hot with exertion, and Tyler moaned, loud and drawn out. Josh felt him pulsing inside of him, could feel the surge as Tyler ground his hips and flung his head back.

Josh clenched around him for good measure, panting and grinding his teeth when Tyler pulled ever so gentle out of him, removing the condom and throwing it to the side haphazardly.

Tyler collapsed beside him sleepily, but didn't turn him away, flinging a leg over Josh's and ushering Josh's hand away from his dick, replacing it with his own.  
"Does it take much longer?"  
"W-what?"  
"Does it usually take you this long?"  
"It- it should be soon," he mewled, fucking up into Tylers hand hotly. "Kiss me,"  
Tyler kneeled to his demand, fitting his mouth over Josh's and sucking on his bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and letting their tongues slide together roughly.

Josh felt his stomach clench, heat spread and his cock twitched in Tylers hand as he came, crying out brokenly, his hips jolting off the bed and biting Tylers lip harshly.  
He continued to use Tylers hand, breathing shakily as he came down and flopped against the matress, eyes closing peacefully. 

-

"Doesn't that hurt?"  
Tyler cringed, watching Josh push a long taper through his pierced ear with a grimace.  
"Only a little- it's like. Burning. But I did it when I was younger,"  
"How big do you plan on stretching your ears?" Tyler asked hesitantly, pouring more of the vitamin E oil onto Josh's fingers so he could lube up the stretcher.  
"I'm not sure- I always wanted, maybe like twelve millimetres,"  
Tyler pulled a face but secretly knew Josh would look fucking gorgeous with tunnels.  
He'd been going jogging, working out at the gym for months now. It took long for him to build up body fat and even longer for muscle growth, but he'd began to grow a six pack, even. He was strong and he was better, now.

"I love you, Josh," Tyler sighed, stroking a hand through his blue hair.  
Josh's smile was still shy and hesitant, no matter how much he grew physically and mentally.  
"I love you too, Tyler." And then a quiet, gush of "thank you,".


End file.
